Busy bee

I miss updating. But I just can’t. Ugh, I’m too busy with my OJT, that office practicum we have in our course. And about that, working in the office is actually 40% fun, 30% challenging, 10% tiring, 15% stressful, 5% boring. That was just based on my personal evaluation. Well, the atmosphere is good, bosses are fine, paper works are okay, short lunch time—not good, not fine, not okay. 


Because of work and classes filling up my whole week, this has been my monologue… “I MISS MY PILLOW, OH I MISS TUMBLR. I’M MESSED UP.”  I can’t even start on the book I’ve been want to read. I want it spontaneous, without any interruptions. But I just can’t.  :’(


Nakakamiss Magsulat :’(

Nung nasa 6th grade ako nagsimual akong sumali sa Journalism Club. Every Saturday meeting namin noon at halos lahat ng areas eh na-tackle namin. Gumawa kami ng iba’t-ibang articles in different categories like Editorial, News Writing, Feature Writing, etc. nag-cartooning pa nga eh. Tapos naalala ko ang panget ng gawa ko noon. Haha! Lumaban kami noon outside the school, unluckily wala akong nakuhang bacon. But some of my classmates brought home the bacon. Hehe! I was frusrated kase feeling ko sa lahat ng sinalihan namin hindi ko nagawa ng maayos ang mga dapat na gawin ng isang writer. Feeling ko sobrang nagkulang ako sa sources, sa facts, sa ideas, or feeling ko I have ideas but not as great as what others have. Hay, I don’t know.  I like writing but that time I thought maybe writing doesn’t like me. Pero hindi ito yung time na tumigil ako. I didn’t stop. I wanna go on until writing learns to love me.

Then freshmen came, and my teacher encouraged me to join the essay writing at school. Fortunately, I got fourth place. Sophomore, ahmm… I don’t remember anything. Haha! My bad. As far as I know everything was about grammar. Then junior high, we were obliged to have Journalism as an elective but we will be divided in Fil. Journ. or English Journ. Nagdalawang isip pa ako kahit English naman talga ang pipiliin ko whatever happens. Haha! Mejo na-pressure din ako that time. So this is were I learn a LOT. From learning what to write, how to write, and how to make readers read what you have written. It’s a matter of delivery. At doon ko nalaman na wala pala akong ganito from my previous years of writing. Then came senior year, mas madami nang ginagawa. Lahat ng events na nagyayari sa school dapat alam mo, you must be updated. Naalala ko nga yung hinahanap namin everytime that we will be given a topic to write. Sigaw ng lahat, “Sinong may facts?” “Freaking FACTS!!” Haha! Nakakamiss. This is were we rely kasi. We learned na walang kwenta ang sinulat mo pag walang facts. Even editorials need facts, as well as features. Para kang kakain ng hamburger na walang ham kapag walang facts sa sinulat mo. Sa class na ‘to ko rin nalaman kung paano mag-proof-reading. Ang saya! Mark it with a red pen! Masaya din yung radio broadcasting. Kahit medyo unprepared kami noon atleast nairaos namin. Haha! And one more thing s naging updated ako sa mga nangyayari sa aking paligid, sa school, sa community, pati nga mga nagyayari sa Senado kinrir ko. Haha! At first this was really boring for me but when watching tv, buying newspapers in the morning became part of my daily living, I thought it’s not bad at all and I thought maybe I’m the one who’s boring. Haha! In fact I became more productive, especially in looking for facts, listening to others’ opinions and evaluating my own views about random things. I can’t quite believe that I was actually concerned about the life outside our house. Specifically, outside my room and bookshelf.

But  I was never sent to compete, though in some subjects I was but in this class, no. I didn’t question my teacher’s choice, and I also never wanted to be put on pressure so it’s just a big ow-kay-dot for me. But there was still this little urge of wanting to try and experience and know if I’ve made improvement or not. But I guess life’s like that. Sometimes you get in, sometimes you don’t. And after all these things; the long identification quizzes, the on-the-spot-writings, the search for freaking facts, and the cramming moments; I decided not to write anymore. Though I really want to join the school publication this college, I didn’t pursue anymore. I told myself that I wanted to leave things behind. It’s hard when you keep on doing something that is not really for you to do. Well, I just thought that, but more like I just felt that. 

I am still writing for my own. I write random thoughts, short stories, poetry and anything I feel to write on that certain notebook under my stack of shirts inside my drawer. Haha! When I don’t write, ahmmm… I draw. And I’m glad my hands have improved it’s strokes compared before. Hehe that’s all I do and also, I read too. But I’m gonna say this for once, I MISS WRITING. WRITING WITH RULES, WITH FACTS, WITH PRESSURE BUT WITH FULL ENJOYMENT. :)) Feels like I wanna join the school publication now. But still, no. :))))